That is exactly the way I felt each time I set foot in the gyno’s office, but then… as I start explaining what I am feeling the doctor cuts me off mid-sentence and says I know… and starts describing my symptoms for me…but these aren’t my symptoms so I respectfully correct the doctor and the same thing happens again… and again… he doesn’t listen and instead tells me a story about another patient who had the same symptoms (that I am not experiencing) and how he was the only one who was able to find the problem basically telling me what an amazing doctor he is whilst not listening to me.

 Another awful experience I had was after taking the morning after pill. I was bleeding nonstop for four months, I was dead tired, in soooo much pain just stupidly waiting for my scheduled doctor’s appointment feeling like a shell of a person and finally sitting at the doctor’s office describing the Hell I am going through crying with pain when he angrily scolds me for the “scene I am making” telling me I was “over reacting” and that “it’s just a period there’s no need to cry”. Needless to say I was not in the mood for criticism about when it’s appropriate to cry. I did not hold back with my response telling the doctor off for his comment, but that day I was alone at his office and had to advocate for myself which isn’t an easy thing to do when in soooo much pain.

The last occurrence I’m going to talk about today happened about a year after I was assaulted. I went for a checkup and had some questions I wanted to ask I set down & the doctor started asking questions. Why was I here today? When was I here last? When was the last time I had sex?
The last question could sound strange but I thought he probably wants to know so what test should I get. So I told him the truth which was about a year ago. But I WAS NOT ready for him to judge my sex life or lack thereof. He told me and I quote “aren’t you in your 20s? you’re wasting your time you should really rethink your lifestyle and what your missing out on”. I was alone at his office that day and wanted to wrap the meeting up as quickly as possible so… I laughed (he wasn’t funny) and said something along the lines of yeah I’ll consider it. But on the inside I felt a combination of shame and anger.

So why am I talking about it now?
Firstly because i feel it’s important to bring awareness to this phenomenon and why we need more empathetic, professional, gentle, and sensitive doctors who know today’s patients and how they found their way to their chair. Secondly, I want to make sure no woman feels alone navigating the sexual health system, and bring to light the experience as a woman going through it so we could change it for the better.

 -Sapir-